Be more daring, easier said that done, right? Some people will never take steps to become more daring. But, if you are one who decides to throw caution to the wind, just how will you go about it?
For instance, suppose I decide I want a promotion at work. There is one up for grabs. How many toes am I prepared to stand on to achieve that goal? Is that daring, or there such a thing as going too far when it comes to ambition?
Many people will stop at nothing to get a promotion. But, should I be one? I’d have to ask if I will feel the same about myself if I do. How will those other people feel if I stepped on them to get that promotion?
They will likely mistrust me, which can make it difficult for them to work with me. If they are good workers, I risk losing them if they move on. Not the best start.
This is not to say I should yield to others. Like you, I have as much right as anyone else to go for that promotion, or whatever it is I’m striving towards. It’s okay to be competitive, but for my own peace of mind I must do so in a way in which I can live with myself and others.
Unfortunately, we live in a society where trampling others seems to be seductive. You see movies like Wall Street and believe that greed is good and other such idioms. Bear in mind, in the movie, the main characters ended up getting in trouble with the law.
The key is we don’t need to be ruthless to succeed. There are plenty of examples of successful people who made their way in legitimate and ethical ways.
Being daring, in my view, does not necessarily mean doing anything we want without regard to others. We always have to consider our actions and weigh them against how others will view us. We need people to succeed so we never know how it can come back to haunt us when we don’t treat people right.
People remember bad experiences and they always have a way of returning to us. As the saying goes, what goes around comes around.
So, what do we have to lose?
It’s normal to want to feel safe. However, being safe can also limit meeting new people or branching out into more exciting experiences. Sometimes, we have to take the plunge and be more daring.
Let me ask you, when you are at a party, are you one to go right up to people and introduce yourself? Many people let others take the initiative. But, you will also find people who will be the first to make introductions. Why are they willing to do it and you are not?
I guess we have to look at every situation we face with the question, what do we have to lose?
What is the worst that can happen if I reach out to someone?
Some people will not appreciate it as they are introverted themselves. But, on the whole, most people welcome the engagement. We are social beings, after all.
One technique I recommend is to have a friend break the ice with a stranger. This has the benefit of using that person as a buffer should the conversation fade. He or she can add to information to the conversation that can help move it along.
Of course, putting ourselves into more situations where we need to interact with others is usually straight forward. There are plenty of social events any one of us can participate in. This is even easier with online access to events. A simple search on my favorite search engine will bring up several results. I can just add them to my schedule accordingly.
As we do this more, we find that we aren’t relying on others for help. We end up striking our own conversations and making more friend in the process.
Naturally, this isn’t an exercise in fishing for friends. It stands to reason that not everyone I interact with will become my friend, and I’ll probably be pleased of that! But, just the nature of getting out there more, increases all our chances of making friends.
It’s not just friendships we will gain. We are also increasing our business networking reach. This will helps when we’re looking for work or increasing business. It’s much easier to call upon known people than to reach out to strangers.
To do this effectively, we need to make sure to stay connected with the people we meet. If we never speak to people after initial contact, over time, it will be the same as interacting with strangers, should we reach out to them again.
As we get involved in reaching out to people, it starts to feel much less daring and just becomes common practice. The reward comes in increased confidence, an increased friendship base, and a larger network.
It starts with confidence
To become more daring, means starting out with being more confident. Ask different people what it means to be confident, and a wide variety of answers will be offered. People have thoughts about what confidence means to them, which is attributable to a type of person. For instance, many people think that people who are tall are confident, but how reliable is that idea?
While we may have preconceived notions as to who we feel are confident people, confidence is more about attitude and conviction. It’s easy to find plenty of people who fall outside those preconceived notions all the time.
Confidence is also about repetition. For instance, if we continually use affirmations about ourselves, confidence is likely to increase over time. Even making conscious adjustments to body language helps to boost confidence. The key is to use them consistently.
Confidence becomes a type of feedback loop. When we become more confident, people will latch onto that and react in a positive way. This reinforces what we have done and we will continue to do it.
While confidence is a good trait to have, it’s important not to overdo it. It’s not good to come across as cocky and conceited. This will turn people off and those efforts to be more confident will be wasted.
It does take some daring to be confident because it’s easier not to be this way. When we gain confidence, it may require that our actions take us you outside of our comfort zones. It may even bring us to taking stands that are not popular and may be controversial.
We all want to be liked, but sometimes confidence allows us to do the right thing, even if everyone won’t be happy about it.
As we gain in confidence we start to live a better life, it’s that simple. And make no mistakes, life changes. People are drawn to those who are confident, partly because they exude a kind of reassurance which is attractive, and perhaps more subtly, there’s a sense of dealing with a person who isn’t full of neurotic baggage. It’s exciting and scary at the same time. But, it will be satisfying in the long run.
There will always be the type of person who tries to bring you down. There is a type of person who, when they identify confidence in another, feel compelled to challenge it. Your confidence has the potential to threaten their world.
Your confidence may cause them to step outside their own comfort zone, and not everyone is ready for that. But we all have to live our own life and not worry too much if those people are affected by your changes.
Daring is risky
Lots of kids seem to have no fear and seem willing to try anything. This is the learning process for them. They eventually learn that there are consequences to their actions. Hopefully, they get through their childhood with only a few bruises and scratches along the way.
As adults, if we choose to become more daring, the danger is we take on much higher risks than we really should in order to prove a point. It can especially happen to people who tended to be reserved most of their lives. They try a few daring moves that work out, and they suddenly believe they can tackle anything. Suddenly everything becomes bring it on!
Just like the kids who seem to have no fear, the newfound daring among adults can be a dangerous game to play. A bigger problem is they may not have people around them able to reign them in. They take chances that can put themselves and their family in danger. The danger does not have to be physical. It can be financial or even emotional.
Most people can probably afford to take a few more risks in life, but that doesn’t mean they should take any risk that comes their way. For instance, it may be fun to bet on horses once-in-a-while. Making a career out of it, however, is probably not the best decision one could make. Some may argue it can be done but overall, many find it a losing proposition.
Another situation people find themselves in as they get older is when entering the dating scene once again. This could be due to divorce or a loss of a spouse. It’s been a while since the person dated, and the person may not engage in safe sex practices.
This can lead to dire consequences of contracting diseases for which there are no cures. When the person was young, they may not have been subjected to the constraints that exist with dating, so they take on those extra risks.
There are many reasons why people may take on these excessive risks. It could be a mid-life crisis or any number of other factors. It’s important to keep the focus on what’s important in life and realize, just as the kids had to, that there are consequences for your actions.
It can be fun to branch out into a different direction at a later stage of life, but we need to do so without taking on too much risk that puts us into situations that we can’t later reverse.
Daring to be more assertive
Were you ever bullied as a child? If so, it could be something that you carry with you into your adult years. You may yield to those who bark louder, so to speak. But, there are times when you need to stand your ground. These are the times to be daring and stand up to others.
You may feel like you are an easygoing person. There’s nothing wrong with that. If you are a person who would defer to others because you don’t want to make waves, this can be okay, in the right circumstances. But, if you do this all the time, you eventually will get trampled on with more important issues. And talking of important issues, it’s important to learn how to be assertive rather than aggressive.
You do need to pick your battles. If you become the stronger person in your group, you run the risk of becoming bully-like yourself. In fact, this is something that can happen when people stand up to others for the first time. They take on the strong-willed persona and become that person they used to fear. The key is to be strong when it’s important and let the little stuff go by.
Also, let others have some wins. This shows strength and leadership. You will win people to your way of thinking as they won’t feel threatened by your presence. When you show your willingness to cede to them, you can develop a great working relationship going forward.
When you do take a stand, make sure that you do it respectfully. If you don’t, you risk losing respect from everyone around and not just the person you are going up against. Whenever possible, try to find an arrangement where both you and the other party wins. The person will see that they can’t take advantage of you, while at the same time, they don’t lose out in the interaction.
Not everyone will take your newfound strength well. That’s okay. As long as you do everything you can to try and work with them, you will be the bigger person. He or she may have issues with you, but at least they know you aren’t willing to back down on the bigger issues. You also will find people need time and may come around after a while. Your relationship won’t be the same, but that could be for the best.
Learn to dial down your anger and keep it out of the picture because it makes people react in ways they later regret. It’s okay to be firm when dealing with others, but there’s no reason to elevate the situation to the point where you start getting personal.