Do you experience the lack of faith in yourself from time to time? Do you doubt the wisdom of your choices and decisions? Do you ever suffer the loss of hope, the belief that you made a good impression on an interview for a job, or on a date?
A number of people have this problem and I’ve been one. It got to a point where it was so much my state of mind that it became a part of me, and I couldn’t even recognise it as a problem.
Self-doubt’s worst feature is the repeating pattern. The more you doubt and fear something, the greater the possibility that your fears become there own reality.
Advice to My Younger Self
Work on your self-confidence, you will notice how things change. It’s like a whole new world wherever you go. When you acquire belief in yourself, your whole life takes on a whole new shape and purpose. Even more, people will be attracted by your energy, you’ll be more productive, and in a better position to create your life as you imagined.
Okay, how do I go about this?
For a start, you need to try to remember the events from the past that made you feel bad. Have you ever sabotaged yourself? Perhaps you unconsciously repeat negative thoughts that are keeping you from progressing. Do you often say things like ‘I’ll never be good at this.’ or ‘I think I can’t do this.’? You know you have and this way you prevent yourself from meeting new people and having new experiences that could be good for you.
The next time you find yourself doubting and drawing on negative energy, remember this and stop. Leave that negative box and find positive energy. Look on the brighter side of life, be in the present moment with all your being and don’t let the self-doubt beat you. You had a failure in life, so what? You have a chance to use that experience and learn from your mistakes. If the negative monolog became the part of you, it’s time to change that habit. Whenever you doubt yourself, change the strategy, praise yourself for something good that you did, be nice to yourself and give yourself a break.
That’s Easy to Say
Look, learn to forgive yourself. It’s completely normal that you sometimes doubt yourself. After all your dreams don’t have boundaries. Big dreams are great but they may be harder to attain that the smaller ones. So, on your way to chasing dreams you’ll make mistakes. When you make a mistake, don’t punish yourself, and don’t think about those days. Mistake making shows you are trying. It means you haven’t hidden yourself away for fear of going wrong. Unless you’re a machine, you’ll have feelings and you’ll sometimes hurt and be hurt. Nobody’s perfect.
How Do I Start?
Here’s an idea. Get yourself a piece of paper and write down your biggest qualities and the ways you used to overcome some obstacles. It’s a great confidence booster. Especially pay attention to situations when you’ve beaten self-doubt. You can even write it as a letter to a best friend who you want to motivate, cheer up, and support. At the moment you finish writing, you will already feel good because it proves you’ve been doing things all along. After a while, you won’t need the letter. You’ll start to remember the good points and not dismiss them as irrelevant or minor.
Use your smartphone. Download one of those apps for writing notes. Start a new note, and from now on start to monitor your progress. The notes are not for writing down your errors or perceived mistakes. When you look back at your notes you’ll see just how far you’ve come.
Where am I Now?
Well, I’m at that point where I try to follow my own advice. I’ve been working on this for well over a year now and I do feel the difference. I won’t deny I’ve had knock-backs but I figure, that’s life, have some cake and move on. If you’ve found this helpful then I’m pleased. And if you want to drop me a comment, I’ll be even more pleased!