Self-esteem simply means understanding your own strengths, as well as faults, and being able to move through life with that knowledge. Too much focus on faults lowers your own value, so here are our tips for moving forwards.
Poor Self-Esteem And Values
Low self-esteem seems to be more prevalent in western cultures, perhaps because our values are aligned with a materialistic measure more than spiritual. Things like health, skills, and experiences are to be valued highly, too.
Take 15 minutes to write down everything you know how to do. Don’t be too critical. You may be able to write instructions or short stories, but not be great in spelling. Don’t let the weaker skill hide your strength.
At the end of the day, take 5 minutes to write everything you accomplished. Even if there is only a single item, give yourself credit for it.
Plan activities for the next day. Include those personal or family tasks because they are important. If you don’t finish them all, just move the task over to the top of the next day’s list.
Compare Yourself to You
Stop comparing yourself to others. The only thing that matters is the improvements you make in your own life. You are not supposed to be like anyone else.
Had a tough day and feeling negative? Sit down, close your eyes, and think of 5 things for which you are grateful. Can you think of more? See your mood has already lifted.
Collect affirmations that appeal to you. Write them on a notepad and post the notes all over your home. If you can, post them in your work area. Make a habit to pause and read them.
Spend time with supportive, uplifting people. Sometimes you end up in a crowd of spoilers but limit the time you spend with them. Make an effort to connect with those who you respect and avoid the cynics.
One of the greatest gifts to another person is to show them how to do something. This reinforces your skill and increases their value, too.
Don’t start a task or make a promise without setting your intention to complete it successfully. Create a visual picture of how you it will look once completed.
“Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly” ~ G.K Chesterton
Address Your Own Needs, Not Others
Do you deny your own values or goals because you worry about offending someone? As long as you aren’t being deceitful there’s nothing wrong with pushing away those who will hold you down.
Expect the Best Outcome
Set yourself up for success by expecting the best result. Too often we think that only the mediocre or lackluster is what we deserve. That encourages you to accept “good enough.” Demand the best.
Are you slumping down in your chair at the office? Sit up straight with shoulders broad. You’ll immediately feel more professional and in control. If you are having a rough day, check your posture frequently. Good posture clears the path to sound decisions and actions.
Want to stand out from your peers? Wear your standard professional attire even on “jeans day” at the office. You never know when you’ll be called upon for an important meeting with managers or the sales team. Your peers and leaders will take note and you’ll feel appreciated.
Create Your Own Cheering Section
Surround yourself with successful people and let them know about your goals. These people understand the importance of goals and will congratulate you as you work through obstacles to achieve them.
See Yourself As Successful
Identify your unique qualities and recognize that these are the tools that lead you to success. Don’t dwell on weaknesses, just find someone who has those strengths and put them on your team.
Instead of interpreting everything as a negative, look at the positive. Step back and acknowledge the problem then realize it’s a chance for you to find a way to work through the challenge.
Often the truth is painful. It’s much easier to blame someone or something else. If you accept responsibility, then you also accept that you can change the situation for the better. That is fulfilling.
Treating others with kindness and generosity boosts your confidence, as well as self-image.
Giving time and skill to a cause you believe in, is a positive for your community and self-worth. You benefit as you instantly feel better about yourself.
Create a New Good Habit
When you dwell on bad habits but struggle to change them you feel unworthy of success. Instead of charging after a huge challenge, change a small bad habit. Instead of waking up an hour earlier, start with 15 minutes.
Oprah admits she’s technically-challenged, even needing assistance to turn on a television. Technology isn’t Oprah’s “light,” but she is brilliant at connecting with her audience.
Find Something Special About Your Day
Don’t end the day dwelling on something that went wrong. Treat yourself to something special every day. It may be a short walk during lunch, watching a favorite movie in the evening, or soaking in a hot bath. End your day with a positive.
Set aside time to exercise several times during the week. Exercise improves your metabolism, thought processes, burns calories, and recharges your motivation. Notice how your self-esteem boosts after exercising.
Don’t Go With the Anger Crowd
Allow others around you to be angry. You don’t need to join in their misery.
When you catch yourself talking down to yourself, talk back to that idea as if it was a person. “No, you are not an idiot! You are deliberate and logical.” It will also help if you detach from cruel, selfish, hurtful people. They will attack your self-confidence and bring you down.
At day’s end, it is easy to feel as if you didn’t accomplish much. Write down everything you did accomplish and don’t forget to include personal tasks.
Honest praise is the quickest way to build a person’s self-esteem. Find some way to praise your child every day. Make sure the praise is honest.
Help your child develop strong self-esteem by helping others. Twice a week, have your child select someone they know who they will say something nice to and another person for whom they can do something nice. It makes no difference how small or trivial, as long as it’s something nice.
All or Nothing Thinking
Do you interpret your results as either all good or all bad? For example, “If I don’t succeed losing 5 lbs, I’m a total failure.” Cancel this negative pattern with positive thoughts.
Don’t assume failure or rejection. Expect success.
Think about the good parts of your life. Remind yourself of the things which are going well.
Mistakes happen. Learn from a mistake. Acknowledge how you will change to prevent repeating it. Infants learning to walk don’t apologize every time a stumble happens.
You can sense energy from others. Being around others sending out good vibrations causes the energy to accelerate.
Timeout and Live in the Moment
Spend 3 minutes in the morning or at the end of the day in complete stillness. Your goal is a timeout of absolute relaxation. During this timeout remove any judgments from your mind including self-judgments.
Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Oprah had a chance to dance on stage with her idol, Tina Turner. Oprah spent several minutes fearing she was messing up the steps. Suddenly she realized that in a few minutes the once-in-a-lifetime experience would end. Oprah tossed back her head and let it all loose. During these last moments, she experienced complete joy and exhilaration.