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Self-Confidence

Stop relying on others

Relying on others a lot tends to happen if you have difficulty trusting yourself. When this happens, you tend to let the situation grow and become further dependent on more and more people.

That presents a problem when called upon to handle situations on your own.

Letting someone else take over a part of your job

If you’ve ever done this it’s possible you’ve felt temporary relief. Yet, when this happens, you could be setting yourself up for future failure. Perhaps the very reason why it happened is that you didn’t trust that you could do the job yourself. Relying on others in this context is signaling your inability to cope, but only if you do so regularly. 

The above scenario often happens when you are asked to do something outside of your comfort zone. Perhaps, your boss wants to test how you will handle a situation that is new. He or she gives you an assignment knowing that you have never dealt with it before.

It’s natural to ask others for help when you find yourself in unfamiliar territory. There is nothing wrong with doing this. However, if you simply let others solve the problems or handle the situations for you, you cannot grow from this and you will simply be regarded as being dependent.

You will never develop the trust in yourself to handle new situations. Your manager will see that you, in essence, passed the assignment onto someone else, whether directly or indirectly. Your manager will not look kindly on this development.

Stay positive

When presented with something that you haven’t experienced before, maintain a positive attitude. Always be willing to try even if you make mistakes. The mistakes are the tools for you to learn. When you do make those mistakes, ask what you did wrong. Over time, those mistakes will get less and less, and you will begin to trust that you can handle the situations.

A subtle consequence will result from trying something new. You will prove that you can handle new tasks and develop new skills. That is enlightening and is a big factor in developing trust in yourself.

Every skill you are now good at and find easy you probably struggled with at the start. If you keep this in mind, you will give yourself over to trusting that you can handle anything that comes your way. Relying on others will become less of an issue.

Of course, you still should ask questions when you are unsure about something. That is another part of how we learn. And yes, it’s important to recognise the importance of not taking on too much. Delegation is an important tool, but it’s a balancing act you learn to acquire over time. Some people may give you a hard time because it’s inconvenient. But, you will find most people want to help you succeed. 

See also:

Why we compete with our friends and how to stop
Why honesty still matters
The positives of being introvert

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