There are many different ways to achieve our needs but learning to become an influencer makes life so much easier, and more pleasant.
It helps us reach our goals and saves a lot of time and effort. While there are some people out there who are naturals at making friends, and influencing people, for most of us it’s a learned skill.
Okay let’s start the process by looking at ten tips to help you accomplish just that. They are my top tips for winning people over and making friends. They can be used in your personal life, but also at work or school.
Give them a try and make them part of your personality and how you interact with others. Some of them may seem very simple but don’t let that deceive you. Each and every tip on this list is a powerful tool.
- Smile and make eye contact.
- Be genuine. It’s too easy to spot when you’re faking it for your own benefit.
- Listen and observe. You’ll learn a lot about other people that way.
- Be aware of your body language. It speaks louder than your words. Be open and inviting.
- Check your attitude and adjust as needed. Fake it till you feel it.
- Pay attention to details and use the other person’s name frequently.
- Stay in touch and don’t be afraid to share something about yourself.
- Find common ground in conflicts and at the start of new relationships.
- It’s a team effort. Don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty.
- Focus on what’s in it for them.
I recommend you work through this list one tip at a time. Start with the one that seems easiest, or most interesting. If needed, take a look around the website to learn more and then start implementing it.
When it becomes a habit, move on to the next tip. Keep working your way through the list, learning and continuing to practice each tip or skill as you go along.
It won’t take long before you start to notice a positive change in the way you interact with people and more importantly how they respond to you. Keep working at it and it won’t take you long to become the charming people person you’ve always wanted to be.
Above all, have fun and put these tips and new-found skills to use for good. You’ll be glad you did as your life changes for the better.
A name is a powerful thing. There’s a reason why so many indigenous cultures across the globe put such emphasis on choosing a name and creating entire ceremonies around giving it to a child.
To us in the western developed word, it may seem like a simple and inconsequential thing, but there is a lot of power in our first name. Here’s why:
The sweetest sound we can hear is the sound of our first name spoken by someone else. It is so closely connected to who we really are, as well as decades of memories of people we love speaking that name that we associate it with everything good and trustworthy.
Surely someone who knows and speaks our name is someone we can trust and someone we should get to know better.
We can take advantage of this fact by getting into the habit of learning, memorizing and of course using people’s first names. Some of the most charismatic leaders in the world employ this one little technique of learning and using someone’s name.
Why shouldn’t you? It will give you a distinct advantage as you interact with those around you.
When you meet someone new, and they introduce themselves, start using their name. Work it into this initial conversation a couple of times. Don’t overdo it or you’ll start to sound weird and they’ll get suspicious. Salespeople are taught this as a technique but if it’s strained and over-familiar it can be off-putting. Done well and you’re well on the path to influencing them to your way of thinking.
It’s important to remember culture and age issues. Not everyone is comfortable being addressed by their first name. Take note I’m using the term ‘first name’ and not ‘Christian name’. Reason – at least half the people on the planet don’t identify as ‘Christian’.
In principle, the use of a name will help to forge a bond, it also helps you fix the name into your memory. That’s often enough to make sure you don’t forget someone’s name. If it isn’t quite enough, or if this is someone you only see infrequently, write it down so you can recall it later as needed.
If you find yourself in a situation where you simply can’t remember the first name of someone important, try to find out before you talk to them. Ask your friends or colleagues to remind you if possible.
If that doesn’t work, just be upfront with them and ask them for their name again. Don’t try to work around it or ask sneaky questions in an effort to get them to reveal their name without asking them. It comes off as awkward and suspicious.
Simply asking is the better way to go. Hopefully, the slight embarrassment of having to ask them for their name again is enough to sear it into your memory. After that, make it an inside joke between the two of you. It’s a great icebreaker and you get to say their name each time you meet because of it.