Feeling positive about ourselves means we care much less about what others think about us. A sense of self-worth is about having a decent and valued relationship with yourself. It is an understanding that everyday isn’t perfect, that not everyone will like you, but that what you have (your achievements, your friends, your interests, etc) are solid.
Self-worth is nourished when we seek out small but rewarding experiences. The sight of a tree in blossom, the sound of a skylark, the roar of a Harley engine. Your boosts reflect your own interests and those things that touch you at an emotional level. Seek them out.
Seeking out positives helps put the negatives into perspective. It becomes a useful and often necessary counterweight. There are times in life when strength is gained from seeing life from a different angle.
Rebuilding self-worth after knock-backs requires tactics. Sometimes it helps to step outside yourself and use a simple tool like writing. Try listing positive things about yourself. Reframe your negative experiences in ways that cast a positive light on the experience and future outcomes. Build a framework of words that show all the reasons why you are a worthy person.
Acknowledging when things go right is something we’re not used to doing. The fact that the car looks great after a clean, or you’ve budgeted well on a shop, or all those other things that make up a day tend to be completely ignored. The moment something goes wrong and – bang – it dominates. They say we need 5 positives to counter every 1 negative, so take time out and recount the positives. Don’t dismiss them because they seem so ordinary because they do count.
Be kind to yourself. This is a great boost to self-esteem and you can work from the outside in. Start with your skin (men and women) and use a really nice shower gel or bath moisturiser. Follow this with a skincare product and then see to your hair and nails. As you work on your body you’ll feel your mind respond. Allow yourself time to rest and sleep. Go off the grid for a few hours. Be selfish!
Don’t endure your life, live it. Find things that amuse, entertain, nurture and fulfil you. Test out new ideas and develop a catalog of activities and a close social circle.