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Self-Confidence

How Not To Be Shy

shy
Shyness can really hold a person back, because apart from the fact that shy people experience chronic anxiety, they tend to avoid speaking up or being in public situations.

Now, in case you are a shy person, you should know that you are not alone in this. Out of 10 people, four of them consider themselves shy and the good news is that you can overcome it. If you truly have the desire to change, it will only take you some time and effort to get through it.

Try new things

You will probably feel anxious but try to join a club, an improve class, or even a sports team. You can also learn a new skill or do a new project, anything to bring you out of your comfort zone. Developing confidence is a part of overcoming it and you should not let your fear of humiliation, fear of rejection and fear of failure stop you. 

Focus Outwards

Shyness makes you self-absorbed and leaves you feeling like you have nothing to say. Shy people feel that they should have amazing stories to tell in order to be around others but that is not entirely the case. People love it when others find them interesting, which means, you can show your interest in the people around you. Try to forget about yourself and focus outwards on other people. If you are not sure how, you can simply asked people questions. For instance, at a party, you can try to connect how the people are related by asking them about how they met. This will not only give you something to talk about, but it also takes the attention of you. 

Prepare yourself

Before you completely overcome it, practice your conversations. Find out about the people attending that said gathering then do some research on it. If it’s a sport gathering, research about that certain sport and prepare some questions about it you can ask. 

Know what signals to send to others

Most shy people are normally misdiagnosed as aloof or unfriendly. Actually, it can make you seem unapproachable. People are more likely to make conversations with strangers if they are smiling at them. In addition to this, smiling puts you in a better mood, so smiling is a good signal. People do not even have to know that you are shy. Actually, if you blush during conversation, do not say it out loud that you are shy, just let it pass. You may feel blushing is an embarrassing signal but actually many people find blushing quite endearing.

Don’t overthink it

Many shy people tend to feel rejection or disapproval even when there is none. Do not self sabotage because you are really your own enemy. Your inner critic can put you down but you should not let it. Try to choose the right friends so you can be around people who are warm and caring as well as totally positive. 

Some people are teasers, even for no reason at all or for the simple fact that they know you are shy. Stay away from them. Always keep in mind that one bad moment does not mean that your shyness caused it, you might have actually been the only person to make a big deal out of it. 

 

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