Better relationship communication results in your partner feeling more valued, and as a result, you’re more at peace. There are so many distractions in our lives that it’s easy to let relationship connections slip. There’s only one way to improve the situation and that is conscious attention being paid to relationships if we hope to see them flourish.
Better Relationship Communication
In this post we’ll be examining ways to keep relationship positivity flowing. We’ll outline some expert tips to improve your relationship connections and help you develop better relationship communication with your partner.
Use “WE” Phrases
When there is a disagreement, it is common to begin using the “you” phrase. “You caused this” or “you are the reason I feel this way,” etc. Experts say you would be better served when you maintain the “we” phrase even during arguments.
According to research, using the word “you” instantly makes your partner put up a defensive posture and immediately start defending themselves when you finish speaking. Psychologist Deborah E. Dyer, Ph.D., says simply using “we” can make all the difference in how a situation is resolved.
“By acknowledging and reminding your partner that you are a team, you immediately reduce the tension and make your partner more willing to accept criticism because they know they are not being blamed.” You can have a productive discussion from there.
Drop Your Phone
While the smartphone is a pretty handy device, using it at the wrong times can hinder your connection with your partner. Do you scroll through Facebook during dinner? Or check your emails during bedtime? These are times that should be used to talk to your partner and foster a deep relationship. Spending it on your phone creates distance between you and your partner, which isn’t helpful.
Have The Same Bedtime
According to Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. world-famous author and recognized member of Psychology Today, “Going to bed at the same time helps improves relationship connection as for most couples; bedtime is their only opportunity to truly be alone.”
If you’re a night owl or have some work planned out, you should stay in bed and leave once your partner falls asleep. You should also ensure you and your partner are getting enough sleep as a study by the University of California, Berkeley, discovered that couples who have poor sleep habits argued more than couples with good sleep habits.
Always Emphasizing Positives
World-famous psychologist John Gottman witnessed that relationships were less likely to last when the negative/positive ratio of communications dipped below 1-to-5 (or one negative interaction only after every five positive interactions).
Humans require recognition and affirmation; this is even more true in a relationship. This can be done by always praising your partner’s strengths, features, and tasks they carried out (such as preparing dinner, doing the dishes, etc.).
Never Assume
It can be dangerous to make assumptions in any situation, and this is even more true when you are in a relationship. No matter how well you feel you know your partner, never assume you know what they will do or think. Always ask for clarification when you are not sure of what they need, want, or think. According to several psychologists, mind-reading always precedes hurt feelings and misunderstandings.
Have Time Outs
If you and your partner disagree on an issue and tempers begin flaring, it is a good idea to call a time-out before the situation worsens. This can be done by stating the conversation is one you would like to have later but once you feel clear-headed enough to discuss it.
You could say something like, “I do want to talk about this. However, it’ll have to be another time as I’m getting too upset to maintain a clear head.” Stating the importance of the conversation and your desire to talk about it later is important, so your partner doesn’t feel you’re blowing them off.
Never Try To “Win”
Disagreements can foster deeper connections with your partner if properly handled and tackled with the correct mindset. When you consider your partner as your competition and you approach disagreements with the mindset of “winning, it leads to distrust and a breakdown in the relationship. Rather, approach misunderstanding with an open mind, the mind of finding a solution, and the readiness to understand your partner’s people’s objectives, sensitivities, and perceptions.
The Role Of Sexual Satisfaction
A study in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy observed that couples admitted to having a higher connection with their partners when sexually satisfied. While sex shouldn’t be seen as a cure for all your relationship troubles, taking time to explore your partners’ desires can lead to more elevated feelings of connection in the relationship.
Apologize
Everyone makes mistakes; however, not everyone apologizes for their mistakes. Saying sorry when wrong is a core step to building higher connections in a relationship.
Appreciate Their Efforts
This is easy to neglect in a relationship as you get so comfortable with the sacrifice your partner makes for you that you feel you deserve it, and they shouldn’t be thanked for it. However, it is important to express gratitude because it makes them feel special, appreciated, and valued.