Managing a Control Freak
A control freak is someone who has an obsessive need to control everything around them. They may seem perfectionists, but their need for control is often driven by fear and insecurity. Control freaks can be found in all walks of life, from relationships to work to managing their own time.
While it’s not always a bad thing to be a little bit controlling, when it starts to affect your ability to live a normal life or causes stress and anxiety, it might be time to consider seeking help. If you’re not sure whether you or someone you know is a control freak, here are some common signs:
- An inability to delegate tasks or share responsibility
- A need to micromanage every aspect of a project or task
- A constant need for reassurance or validation
- An obsession with order and tidiness
- A fear of making mistakes or being embarrassed
- Difficulty relaxing or taking breaks
If you think you might be a control freak, there are several things you can do. You could begin by testing yourself using our quiz. If you come out as a control freak then try these tips:
Learn to delegate: One of the most important things you can do as a control freak is learn how to delegate tasks. This means giving up some of the control you’re so used to having and trusting other people to do things their way. It can be difficult, but delegation will help reduce your stress levels and give you more free time.
Be honest with yourself: Control freaks often have trouble admitting what they are doing to themselves and others. It probably doesn’t help that the label ‘freak’ is attached, but we’re using the term because it’s common and people tend to understand what is meant by it.
How to Identify a Control Freak
If you suspect that someone in your life is a control freak, there are some telltale signs that you can look for. We’ve already listed a few but look out for:
- a need to be in charge of everything and everyone.
- a demand for perfection from themselves and others.
- inflexibility and resistance to change.
- constantly criticizing and finding fault with others.
Pros and Cons of Living With a Control Freaks
Assuming you are not a control freak yourself, living with one can be daunting. You might feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, trying to avoid doing anything that will set off their need for control. On the other hand, living with a control freak can also have its benefits. Here are some pros and cons that we’ve come up with:
PROS:
- They are usually very organized and tidy. This can be a great help if you’re naturally messy or tend to procrastinate on chores.
- They often have a lot of useful knowledge and skills that they are happy to share. If you’re looking to learn something new, just ask your control freak roommate!
- They typically stick to schedules and routines, which can provide much-needed structure in your life.
- Their attention to detail means that mistakes are rare. This can be useful in any situation where precision is important, such as work or school projects.
CONS:
- Their need for control can be suffocating. You might feel like you have no autonomy or freedom to make your own choices.
- They can be extremely critical, both of others and themselves. This can create a tense and unhappy atmosphere at home.
- Their perfectionism can lead to them taking forever to complete simple tasks. This can be frustrating if you’re trying to get things done quickly.
Tips for Managing a Control Freak
If you’re living with a control freak, you know that it can be a challenge to deal with their need for constant control. Here are some tips for managing a control freak:
- Try to be understanding and patient. Control freaks can be frustrating, but it’s important to remember that they’re often coming from a place of fear or insecurity. Try to be understanding and patient with them.
- Set boundaries. It’s important to set boundaries with a control freak so that they don’t take over your life. Be assertive and firm in your communication with them.
- Help them find other outlets for their controlling behavior. If possible, help the control freak find other outlets for their need to control, such as hobbies or work projects. This can help diffuse some of their controlling behavior.
- Seek professional help if needed. If the situation is getting too out of hand, seek professional help from a therapist or counselor who can help both of you deal with the issue in a healthy way.
Communication Tactics
If you’re dating or married to a control freak, you know that it can be challenging to deal with their controlling behavior. Here are some communication tactics that may help you manage a control freak:
- Define boundaries and stick to them. It’s important that you set boundaries with a control freak and be clear about what you will and will not tolerate. Once you’ve set these boundaries, it’s essential that you stick to them. If a control freak tries to cross your boundaries, be firm in telling them no.
- Use “I” statements when communicating. When communicating with a control freak, it’s important to use “I” statements. For example, instead of saying “you’re being too controlling,” try saying “I feel like you’re trying to control the situation.” This helps avoid arguments and keeps the conversation focused on your feelings.
- Be assertive, not aggressive. It’s important to be assertive when communicating with a control freak. This means being clear, direct, and firm in what you say. However, it’s important not to be aggressive; this will only escalate the situation and make the control freak more resistant to listening to you.
- Avoid giving in or making compromises. If you give in or make compromises all the time, the control freak will learn that they can get their way by being manipulative or demanding. It’s important to stand your ground and only give in or make compromises when it’s
Empowering a Control Freak in Positive Ways
There are some positive ways that you can empower the control freak in your life. By using these techniques, you can help them feel more in control while still allowing yourself some freedom.
One technique is to allow the control freak to make small decisions. This might seem counterintuitive, but by giving them some control over minor things, they will feel more empowered overall. For example, let them choose what color napkins to use at dinner or what route to take when driving somewhere.
Another way to empower the control freak is to give them regular updates on what’s going on in your life. This includes letting them know about your plans for the future and how you’re progressing on current projects. By keeping them in the loop, they’ll feel like they’re a part of your decision-making process and less likely to try to control everything themselves.
It’s important to set boundaries with the control freak in your life. Explain calmly and clearly what you’re comfortable with them controlling and what you’re not. Stick to your guns on this – if they try to cross a boundary, don’t give in just because they’re being persistent.
Alternatives to Managing a Control Freak
There are several alternatives to managing a control freak. Much depends on who they are and the influence they have in your life. One is to avoid them altogether. For the sake of argument let’s say this is someone you work with, or is maybe someone you share a class with. You could:
- Avoid them altogether. If possible, it may be best to simply avoid dealing with control freaks. This is not always possible, but if it is an option, it may be the best strategy. If you cannot avoid them, then you will need to deal with them directly (see below).
- Confront them directly. Sometimes the only way to deal with a control freak is to confront them directly. This can be difficult, but it may be the only way to get through to them. Be assertive, but also be prepared for a heated discussion. This method may not always work, but it is worth a try.
- Work around them. If confrontation is not an option or if it does not work, then you will need to find ways to work around the control freak. This means being creative and finding ways to do what you need to do without getting their approval first. It can be difficult, but it is possible
Conclusion
Managing a control freak can be challenging but with the right strategies and communication tactics, it is possible to create a productive and harmonious relationship. We hope that this guide has shown you how to effectively manage a controlling person in your life, allowing for better teamwork, collaboration and overall harmony. Whether they are a family member or co-worker, following these tips will help make sure that everyone involved is able to work together more cooperatively in the future.